I am in love with food. There isn't much that I won't eat. I eat when I am stressed or depressed and I eat when I am happy and content. It's been an ongoing battle for me since I was just a little girl.
Most of my adult life I have been overweight and lately I am at my most unhealthy. I'm actually pretty scared about it. Things are happening to me that prove to me just how bad it is.
Last week I went for a walk with Rusty in the park and the next morning I was in so much pain. I thought I had fractured my foot. X-ray showed only inflammed and swollen tissue.
This week I am battling the edema in my legs. The pitting is gross. I am very sensitive to sodium. I'm also just feeling really tired and sick to my stomach.
I know what I need to do. I used to have a personal trainer. It's just getting started. I just really have No desire to do anything. I get home from work and I just want to sleep.The insanity has to stop!
I know that a lot of my issues are my depression. It is constantly in control of my thoughts, actions and behaviors. I thought I had finally found something that worked but the insurance rejected the prescription and I can't afford paying over $100 per month to continue on them. I hope that going back to what I was taking before won't set me back any. I have been feeling better the last couple of weeks.
This is definitely something I should be giving to God. I know that he is in control and will guide me through but it's so hard letting go.
Please pray that I will find my strength in God and will overcome all of this. It is much appreciated.
Here are the the lyrics to a song that we sang at church Sunday and I truly believe He is my Healer.
You hold my every moment.
You calm my raging seas.
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease.
I trust in You.
I trust in You.
I believe You're my Healer.
I believe You are all I need.
I believe You're my Portion.
I believe You're more than enough for me.
Jesus You're all I need.
Nothing is impossible for You. Nothing is impossible for You. Nothing is impossible for You.
You hold my world in Your hands
